My favourite quotes from the book Scream free parenting by Hal Edward Runkel:
Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents. The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.
We are responsible for our children – this is the biggest lie. We have responsibility to our children.
To be in charge as a parent means inspiring children to motivate them selves.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
Then importance of giving your children increasing space as they age is far greater than the fear of what they will do with that space.
It is your room, clean it if you will.
Let them close the door. Knock before you come in, and await their answer and if it’s NO, come back later.
Give them money, but then teach them about it.
Let them struggle.
You can’t? Man, that sucks, what have you tried so far? After the response ask: so what are you going to do about it?
This is what I think, what do you think?
Wow, you’re bored. That stinks. I hate it when I’m bored too. What are you going to do about it?
After 10 minutes in the car – are we there yet? Wow it looks like you really don’t want to be in the car right now. You know what, me neither – and for whole next two hours! What are we going to do about it?
The very act of homework hovering makes a problem even worse.
Learning from our mistakes is the highest form of education possible.
I told you so – don’t use this.
Integrity. It’s very important for your children to believe that what you say is what you honestly believe and what you will actually do.
Broken body makes it extremely difficult to provide for and protect your children. Your health is your first responsibility. Your self-respect is important, as well as your marriage – your marriage is more important than your kids. Take care of yourself in order to benefit others.
The only way to change the pattern is focusing on your part in it, and then do something different. Don’t wait for others to change – you change and the rest will follow.