{"id":4168,"date":"2019-07-03T11:31:10","date_gmt":"2019-07-03T11:31:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/?p=4168"},"modified":"2019-07-03T11:33:59","modified_gmt":"2019-07-03T11:33:59","slug":"coaching-habit-michael-bungay-stanier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/books\/coaching-habit-michael-bungay-stanier\/","title":{"rendered":"The Coaching Habit &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here are my notes from a very practical book <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2XoMv3n\">The Coaching Habit<\/a> by Michael Bungay Stanier:<\/p>\n<p>The book covers 7 questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Kickstart: What&#8217;s on your mind<\/li>\n<li>AWE: And what else?<\/li>\n<li>Focus: What&#8217;s the real challenge here for you?<\/li>\n<li>Foundation: What do you want?<\/li>\n<li>Lazy: How can I help?<\/li>\n<li>Strategic: If you&#8217;re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>Learning: What was most useful for you?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>The essence of coaching lies in helping others and unlocking their potential<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>If you need to have a lead in phrase, consider using: &#8216;out of curiosity&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>Three vicious circles that plague our workplaces: overdependence, getting overwhelmed, and becoming disconnected.<\/li>\n<li>Ask people more questions and give less advice<\/li>\n<li>45% of our waking behavior is habitual<\/li>\n<li>If you spend too much time imagining the outcome, you&#8217;re less motivated to actually do the work to get there.<\/li>\n<li>Think less about what your habits can do for you, and more about how this new habit will help the person or people you care about.<\/li>\n<li>Charles Duhigg says that there are just five types of triggers: location, time, and emotional state, other people, and immediately preceding action.<\/li>\n<li>I will ask just one question and then be quiet while I wait for the answer.<\/li>\n<li>Coaching for performance is about addressing and fixing a specific problem or challenge. Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the issue, the person who&#8217;s managing the fire.<\/li>\n<li>3P&#8217;s: people, projects, patterns<\/li>\n<li>The brain accounts for only 2% of the body weight, but it uses about 20% of the energy<\/li>\n<li>The first answer someone gives you is rarely the only answer, and it&#8217;s rarely the best answer.<\/li>\n<li>The brain counts like this: one, two, three, four&#8230;lots.<\/li>\n<li>Stop offering up advice with a question mark attached. That doesn&#8217;t count as asking the question. If you&#8217;ve got an idea, wait. Ask, &#8220;And, what else?&#8221;, and you&#8217;ll often find that the person comes up with the very same idea that&#8217;s burning a hole in your brain.<\/li>\n<li>The simple act of adding &#8216;for you today&#8217; to the end of as many questions as possible is an everyday technique for making conversations more development than performance oriented.<\/li>\n<li>Stick to the question starting with &#8220;What&#8221; and avoid questions starting with &#8220;Why&#8221;.\n<ul>\n<li>Why did you do that? =>  What were you hoping for here?<\/li>\n<li>Why did you think this was a good idea? =>  What made you choose this course of action?<\/li>\n<li>Why are you bothering with this => What&#8217;s important for you here?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~ G.B. Shaw<\/li>\n<li>9 universal needs based on Marshall Rosenberg: affection, creation, recreation, freedom, identity, understanding, participation, protection, subsistence<\/li>\n<li>Five times a second, at an unconscious level, your brain is scanning the environment around you and asking itself: it&#8217;s safe here, or is it dangerous?<\/li>\n<li>After asking a question, just patiently wait for an answer.<\/li>\n<li>Based on Karpman, there are three archetypal roles: victim, persecutor, and rescuer<\/li>\n<li>While talking nod your head, make encouragement noises and maintain <\/li>\n<li>Being busy is no measure of success<\/li>\n<li>The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do. ~ Michael Porter<\/li>\n<li>Acknowledge the reply of a person by saying, &#8220;Yes, that&#8217;s good&#8221;, instead of just going into another question.<\/li>\n<li>People don&#8217;t really learn when you tell them something. They don&#8217;t even really learn when they do something. They start learning, start creating new neural pathways, only when they have a chance to recall and reflect on what just happened.<\/li>\n<li>This is why, in a nutshell, the advice is overrated. I can tell you something, and it&#8217;s got the limited chance of making its way into your brain&#8217;s hippocampus, the region that encodes memory. If I can ask you a question and you generate the answer yourself, the odds increase substantially.x<\/li>\n<li>What have you learned since we last met?<\/li>\n<li>So, what was most useful here for you? What did you find most valuable about this chat? What worked best here?<\/li>\n<li>Finish on a high note, and you make everything that went before it look better.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Before I jump into a longer reply, let me ask you: What&#8217;s the real challenge here for you?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here are my notes from a very practical book The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier: The book covers 7 questions: Kickstart: What&#8217;s on your mind AWE: And&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4169,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4168"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4171,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168\/revisions\/4171"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4169"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nikola-breznjak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}